The Four Questions A Conscious Leader Asks
The Four Questions A Conscious Leader Asks:
1. Where am I? Am I present, or am I in the future or past? Just noticing where you are making your decisions from is the biggest opportunity to grow. Your mind cannot know the future, so it becomes anxious and makes up stories to keep you safe. In that space, it is impossible to think clearly and get optimal results. In the past, there is resentment, frustration, or a holding on that keeps leadership from moving forward into clarity with joy and creativity.
2 What role am I playing? When we are not present, we become reactive and play roles that are considered to be at the effect of what is outside of us. We react to the thoughts and beliefs of what our mind automatically goes to as a judgment about someone else, a situation, or even yourself. This is how the brain is hardwired, and we are all here approximately 96% of the time. Unaware. We become in a stance of victimhood, where we believe that we don't have enough, aren't enough (victim) or we blame ourselves or someone else for what we don't have (villain.) The other stance is taking on more than our responsibility - believing that others can't do it and they need our help, so we take on what is not ours to do and then exhaust ourselves (hero.) We play all three roles at any given moment.
3. Am I willing to accept myself right where I'm at? The mind unconsciously likes to judge that we should know better, that we should have a different result, and that we aren't enough, that there isn't enough. This is our automatic defense, and this usually runs our life-every four seconds- unless we are aware. This is our biological wiring to keep us safe in the world. Safety first keeps us in defense. Yet, we are more than just the small part of our brain called the amygdala that drives us unconsciously. It is our noticing this pattern that is the possibility for a change inside of us. So - are you willing to just accept that we are all wired just like everyone else, and that we have an opportunity to learn and grow as a leader, once we look at the results we have and own them? Are you willing to get curious about the automatic patterns that no longer serve growth and connection? Curiosity brings limitless possibilities! We don't have to be in a judgmental state. We are always the chooser. And with acceptance there is opportunity for love, compassion, and the very next step forward.
4. Am I willing to shift? Taking a pause and a deep breath is the stance of a curious mind. Really noticing whether you're willing to let go of your belief that you are right that someone should be different. That you should have what you want. Really noticing your hidden beliefs and asking yourself - "Am I truly willing to do and believe the opposite of the past, patterned beliefs that has caused me to suffer in anxiety and frustration?" Wanting is one thing. But being willing to truly let go is another. Noticing what is really here inside as a limiting belief and taking the very next step that would bring you to a different result is your responsibility. Love yourself right where you're at -even if you're not willing. There is always learning to know where you are not willing, because that will not always be the case. It might just be at this moment that you are not willing to let go. When we are triggered, and stuck in a deep belief we all struggle. The power is knowing you are more than this belief and you may always choose another. If you want. Give yourself extra grace. How might you learn where you are truly unwilling and accept that part of you as well? Acceptance is the change inside of you. Take one very next step to do the opposite, by thinking the very opposite of what you've been telling yourself that has caused you to suffer and not get the result you want- This is part of the change formula.
You are the change - when you master knowing your thoughts, feel your feelings all the way through, and accept yourself on your inner discovery. Thank yourself always for just noticing.
To Our Collective Journey!
Xxooo
Debra