How are you unconsciously creating a win-lose organization?

To all you amazing overachievers,

In the realm of leadership, the individuals I've encountered are often brilliant, dynamic, achievers, and go-getters. It's fascinating, however, that they tend to take on more than their fair share of responsibilities.

Why do they do this? It stems from an unconscious belief that they can achieve better results by personally steering the effort.

There's a lingering skepticism about others' ability to perform the task the way they would, a belief in their capacity to complete it faster, a sense that clients specifically require their involvement, and a deep-seated need to maintain control over the outcomes.

While this approach might yield desired outcomes in the short term, a long-term perspective reveals a different picture. The results can transform into a scenario where someone wins at the expense of another or, worse, both parties suffer losses.

A recurring pattern I've observed involves leaders oscillating between anxiety and frustration. They intervene to influence outcomes, often inserting themselves into processes that fall outside their purview. They encroach upon others' domains, projecting potential negative impacts and assuming the role of decision-maker. Instead of openly addressing these concerns and expressing their sentiments, they resort to control and micromanagement.

This conduct is driven by an unconscious pattern, a belief system that has become second nature. Why does this pattern persist?

It originates from our innate sense of safety, triggered by the primal part of our brain that anticipates the worst-case scenario. The response is to assert control to mitigate perceived threats. Regrettably, this behavior erects barriers not only for the leader but also for those around them. The energy of control and fear is palpable.

As a consequence, the leader feels compelled to intervene, prompting the other party to withdraw, disengage, and invest only halfheartedly.

While the leader experiences a fleeting triumph, the immediate aftermath is a loss for the individual or individuals subjected to this behavior. Ultimately, this dynamic yields losses on all fronts.

So, how can we transition to a win-win dynamic?

The key lies in self-awareness regarding these patterns. It's about recognizing the thoughts that trigger anxiety or frustration, leading to controlling behaviors. By identifying these thought processes and anticipating manipulative tendencies towards people and outcomes, we have the ability to create a different course.

Acknowledging our patterns and extending ourselves grace and understanding when we slip into this mode is the initial step toward breaking free from this cycle.

Moreover, becoming attuned to the pattern and fully experiencing the emotions connected to it can dissolve its hold on us in the present moment. This is an ongoing practice that requires consistency.

If any of this resonates with you, I invite you to connect with me for a 15-minute call. Let's explore if you identify with this pattern and work collaboratively to gain fresh insights, setting out on a new journey towards mutual success.

Joy. Peace. Love.

Xxoo,

Debra

“My Genius is Seeing Yours.”