Immunity to Change
Resistance, Not Change
We are not “change” people. For all the talk of self-development and personal growth, you’d think we were. Change, however, is not what comes easiest to us.
We are actually “resistant” people. Resistance is what comes most naturally to us. We resist growing and learning because most of the time our ego/amygdala (the fear center of the brain) create narratives for us to believe about the world. We unconsciously create and believe these narratives because they give us a sense of safety. Adherence to these narratives makes us defensive and unwilling to be open and curious to learn.
Three Main Mindsets
Harvard Business did a study showing the three main mindsets that people fall into.
The first is the social mind. The social mind is evidenced when people just want to be in a group. It’s a type of group think centered around obedience to authority in order to be accepted into the group. People comply with authority because of their fear of loss - loss of payment, security, etc. if they do not follow what the authority says.
Unfortunately, I find that many companies are run this way. In my work with CEOs and their teams, one of the things I’ve heard the most is that people don’t completely share what they're thinking or feeling because of fear. They fear hurting someone's feelings or rocking the boat and missing out on an end-of-year bonus. It makes me wonder, how much do we limit our company's growth and weaken our culture because we're not being authentic?
The second mindset covered in the study is a self-authority mindset. It is a mind with a mission; a mind that knows what it wants yet doesn't realize it’s working behind a filter. This filter is one's own perspective. This perspective typically has one way of thinking and one way of doing things. Even though people with this mindset do create many great things, they are not collaborative and open to other people’s ideas. They’re not open to looking at how something could go wrong or is wrong, because they’re attached to their limited thinking.
Lastly, the third mindset is called the self-transforming mind. The self-transforming mind realizes it has a filter through which it views the world. Once someone who employs this mindset by stepping out of fear, he or she can fairly consider and evaluate other perspectives. It is a mindset that seeks to create and collaborate, and it is committed to learning versus being right.
Immunity to Change
The self-transforming mind is not an automatic mindset, it’s one to be aware of and practice regularly. This is because we have a natural “immunity to change” and a tendency to resist change, even in life or death scenarios!
In the same Harvard study, there was an example of cardiologists working with patients who were at high risk of dying because of their unhealthy eating habits. In each scenario, the cardiologists gave patients a very specific list of what to eat and what to avoid in order to make changes and save the patients’ lives. What was so amazing to me is that the results showed that only one out of seven people actually followed through and made the change to clean up their diet and avoid a heart attack!
This demonstrates the extent to which people say they want to change, yet continue to act just as before. So, the question is, what do we do about this? How do we really grow and change as a leader, a team, a culture, a father, a husband, a wife, a mom, a friend…?
My work helps people discover their unconscious beliefs and their unwillingness to change, which leads them to the results they don’t want. Until this self-awareness is achieved, there is no motion forward. Once becoming aware, the next and biggest step towards implementing change is to accept yourself right where you’re at.
Deciding to Move Forward
In your own life, are you willing to pause and notice where you are resistant? Are you repeating the same patterns over and over and not getting the results you want?
I invite you to join me in a real, non-judgmental conversation. Let’s look at how your resistance is keeping you from what you most want!
xxoo
-Debra
Exquisite Leader. Exquisite Life.