Our Internal Civil War - Part 1

Shiloh Civil War - we visited this battlefield last week here in Tennessee. Over 24,000 men of the United States died here in 2 days. As soon as I walked out of the car to the visitor center, I started to cry. I felt deep sadness.This is our country, and how could we have done this to ourselves?! And here we are doing it again! Maybe not with guns but with words. When will we wake up to repeating the past? Fear came up when I believed that we are headed for the same results.

When will we learn to truly hear each other and accept each other - Even if we have different ideas and viewpoints? How can we learn and grow from someone with a different perspective?

I coach this with CEOs and their executive teams— When we are at threat (based on toxic fear), we are defensive and not open to hearing. It is our responsibility to either be open and curious OR be defensive and right. To take radical responsibility is to choose how I will be in the world —will I be more curious to learn or am I committed to being right?

We all get defensive. Our ego loves to be right! Ha. And if we do not notice this tendency to be defensive and shift to being curious, it will destroy our relationship to ourself, those around us, and in my writing today -our country. 

Fear of not getting we want is the driver when we are at threat.

What are you afraid of right now? I want to know.

Will you wonder with me about how we each can be the change and get curious to know someone else who may have a different view? Who may have a different color of skin? Who may be voting for someone we wouldn’t vote for? Would you be willing to just know them and get out of your on way (ego /defensive part of our brain)?

Don’t we all really have the same core want - to be loved, accepted and safe?

When we get a result we don’t want, we can blame or shame someone else or even ourselves. The opposite is to learn how am I responsible for getting the results I don’t want, and can I get curious about this without blame or shame? This is being the change - like Nelson Mandela, Victor Frankel, Mother Theresa and Jesus - To choose to take responsibility around who you want to be -regardless of what others may think or believe—what aligns with you that is loving and kind?

I appreciate you for wondering with me about how you and I can show up differently with love and curiosity.

Love is the opposite of fear. 

I commit to loving more and learning as much as possible while I am here on this earth.

To continue to notice when I get defensive and question myself - how am I trying to be right? Could the opposite of my thought that I am believing be just as true or truer?

Love to you all.

Share your feedback here—Love to know you more.