Love Over Fear & Rediscovering Our True Self
Today I want to talk about the opposite of "getting shit done." I am amazed that I still walk into offices where they have pillows that say “get shit done.” That’s really what America is about lately. That’s what we’ve become: we truly believe we’re doers and we’ve lost ourselves in that.
My want and work is to support people in coming back to who they are and who they are becoming, instead of just focusing on what they do.
There’s a lot of uncertainty in life now with the pandemic, the November election, etc. Now more than ever it’s important to take pauses and stop doing, stop running, because the fear only propels us to run faster.
How is this a perfect opportunity to realize we’re not in control of anything outside of ourselves? With fires yet again taking over California I think on my friends in Santa Cruz who have to evacuate, losing their homes and their valuables in the process. Yet we’ve really lost nothing, unless we choose to believe that.
When we give away ourselves to the doing in life - when it overtakes us and we think we have to get things done in order to be okay and be successful - that’s when we’ve lost ourselves.
Having come through same major trauma in my life, I’ve realized that the most important thing to peace, joy, and living an abundant life is listening and pausing. Listening and pausing to what is my whole yes, what is it that it truly excites me?
Who am I being, and if it’s not who I want to be, how do I listen to the thoughts in my head that are fearful and defensive? The thoughts that lead to reactive, defensive behaviors and actions. The thoughts that put up walls inside of me and keep me from connecting with others. The walls that come up inside of me and keep me from being who I am. The ones that stop the flow of who I am.
Fear stops us dead in our tracks. Fear blinds us and confuses us. Fear becomes so great that we become angry, sad, and even depressed. We become that way because we aren’t standing in our whole self and our whole yes. And we become a nation that is fighting - fighting out of fear. Fighting to be right because we believe this or believe that, and we believe the other is wrong. We focus on being wrong or being right instead of becoming who we fully are and empowering others around us to be who they are through appreciation, learning, and curiosity. How can we create more? How can we actually win more by creating win-win solutions versus win-lose?
This whole time that we’re in right now has truly awakened us to taking sides - believing there’s one right way or one right president. People are fighting inside themselves and others - trying to convince others or saying “I’m not going to be your friend if you vote for this person.”
That is not a win-win situation. That is a win-lose situation, and a country built on win-lose situations eventually turns to destruction. In the long run, we are all going to lose. And yet we win and lose all day long with ourself, with the people in our life, and with our companies.
My want for us is all of us to pause and get outside of our normal patterns and look at what we’re truly believing, asking “is it really serving us?” Do we have joy and peace most of our life? If not, check what you’re believing - because it’s the thoughts that bring the beliefs that bring the behaviors and that is the only thing you are in charge of. It is the only thing that will bring you sustainable and everlasting peace and joy because it is truly you standing up for you. When you are in a space of love and truth for yourself, that’s when you’re confident enough to allow someone else to stand in their truth and space and love. The fighting ends and things are in flow because peace is inside of you and you know you can’t get it from someone else or something else. Peace has to come from the win-win inside of you. As soon as you fight yourself, as soon as you don’t listen to yourself, as soon as you “should” on yourself, as soon as you “have to” on yourself: that’s when you’ve already lost.
xxoo
-Debra
Exquisite Leader. Exquisite Life.